Internet Dating? Phooey!

I'm so glad that I haven't spent anymore time or money on Internet dating websites. I initially tried it out because I wasn't meeting anyone in my first year of teaching. I figured as I may as well look for a site for fans of full-figured femme fatales. I signed up for a second site that was for African-Americans. It was a small investment, I had some fun and some bullshit, and I went on hiatus from the sites. Just out of curiosity and boredom, I logged into the sites again because I never deactivated the accounts. Well, I've been seen by many seekers. On the real, that's a bit of an ego boost for anyone, especially when I've received a bunch of replies since I went on hiatus in late June.

Well, I took a look at the people who viewed me. So many of the "men" were unappealing because they looked lame or unattractive or they just left off a picture. In 2006. Come on.... Or they didn't take time to talk about themselves. How do you just have "Leave a message" or "More later", and you think that will actually sell a woman enough to leave a message? Would you walk up to a woman, say, "Hi," then sit there quietly while she checks you out. Think about how lame or creepy that would be. Just, "Hi," then breathing. She'll think you're the freak that you are and will bounce.

So, I'm thrilled that I made the right decision to leave that mess alone. Besides, my brother and his good friend schooled my idealistic self on a recent Sunday afternoon. My brother, NOPI, is like me because he is very honest, but to a fault. He happens to be into NOPI featuring the fast and furious Honda cars. His mouth and temper run that fast, too, especially when dumb shit pisses him off.

Alien Nation is one of NOPI's last decent friends that he can share things with. You would think that girls have more drama in their friendships, but NOPI and Alien Nation are the last two out of the original group of six that are still cool. Alien Nation might have little ears (with magic powers no less), but he's a cool dude. Smart and crazy at the same time. He could probably break into a high-security computer without breaking a sweat, and this same man could happily break a sweat whooping somebody's ass who had the nerve to disrespect him. He once offered to do the same for me because one of NOPI's former friends did disrespect me. I told him it would be too much work to coordinate a time of night to sneak over to his place and mess the car up. Alien Nation says, "I'll do it in broad daylight. I don't care." *insert warm, glowy feeling here*

"Don't you know what guys look for on the Internet?" Alien Nation says with exasperation.

"Well, I've met a couple of nice guys who were truly interested, but it just didn't work out. If you mean they're looking for sex, then I can accept that. There are men in real life on the streets just looking for some cut. Y'all just have to recognize that not every single guy on the 'net is looking for some ass."

Alien Nation and my brother, NOPI, just looked at each other with disgusted faces. They had to close their eyes to deal with this epiphany from me.

NOPI, with the most patience he can muster: "Sunshyne, you need to listen to Alien Nation. He knows what he's talking about. They just want sex."

Me: "How does he know that? He can't retain too much information because the info has to make it through his lil ass alien ears. There probably was a traffic jam of the sound trying to make it in the tunnel, but you know something had to be lost along the way."

Alien Nation: "I'm one of the biggest hoes you know. Trust me. I know what I'm talking about because I've done it."

NOPI as he counts on his fingers: "Internet, chat lines - it don't matter. Dating websites are just good for finding a fuck. It ain't even gotta be a good fuck. Just a fuck."

As much as I hate the way NOPI puts things, he's probably telling the truth that I don't want to hear. See, I'm very idealistic, and I border on naive sometimes. I have to be idealistic to still have faith in men. If I weren't, I'd be bisexual by now. Of course, I'm strictly dickly. I love men, but I just don't know if there is one that truly will love me. Been in love before, but never stayed in love. I've definitely been in lust and infatuated with a guy, but just haven't had that true love. Not that I was looking for my soulmate, but it would have been a cool perk to find him.

I met some interesting men when I was on the dating site, but I've only stayed in touch with one: Beaver. That's the guy I told to go to hell on the text. I'll write more on him later.

I have a friend from the Internet. We met through a Black Greek website, and we talk every week. No love connection. He and I both have always been just friends without having to stress the point or fight it.

One of the most memorable was this Indian guy (actually from India). He was 5'11", which threw me off because I didn't know Indians could be so tall. I hadn't seen one that tall until he and I went on a cool date. And he was so cute and just cool as all get out! Nice hair cut, nice car, mannerable, and funny. Mr. Curry showed me a great time. He added some spice to that week in May. (He's Mr. Curry because he imported spices for his business. Sue me if you thought I was being sterotypical or rascist. Naw, scratch that - kiss where the sun don't shine.) We ended up kissing very nicely in the rain, and he tried his best to come in my place. I told him no. Maybe he was mad because he was teased when I had to check the size on his mini-me. He was not mini in any way! Never heard from him again.

So, I'm glad I'm "wasting time" on my Slumber Parties business and developing my writing with my blog again. I could say n****s ain't shit, but I don't feel that way about all men. I'm still on my dating hiatus although I met someone on Saturday who damn near worships me. I just won't break my dating hiatus by doing that cyberdating bullshit.