Go 2 hell! How's that 4 a text?

I'm trying to be dedicated to my working out. I slipped up on Sunday and Monday by not working out and/or eating some trash. I decided to bounce back and make sure I work out each day and eat better. So, I did my time at the gym on Tuesday night, even after I had to visit Target and buy black socks to go with my black pants. I just can't stand white socks with black pants! I did my time well because I warmed up for 10 minutes on the treadmill, completed 50 minutes on the elliptical (including the 5 minute cooldown), cranked out some crunches and ab exercises, and loved every minute of the lower body weight training. (I'm gonna be sooo fine in September '07 for my best friend's wedding!)

The cell phone stayed in the car. I left it on in case someone thought enough of me to place a phone call. I could see who called or sent messages. One of my close friends sent me two messages about some deranged chick yelling in a cell phone conversation about a pregnant friend with Herpes...while riding the MARTA train. Good job....

Lo and behold, I see another phone number that looks familiar. I think to myself that it cannot be who I think it is because I ignored his earlier text messages and e-mails to me. Maybe it was a telemarketer that I would cuss out if they called again. But the telemarketer theory can't work because the message was sent around 9:30 pm. Damn....

The guy that abandoned me over Memorial Day weekend sent me a text message: "I really miss talking with you. If you could, please give a call or a text. Either way, take care of yourself."

You ever heard of something being "white hot"? Now, that was me. Not just furious. More along the lines of incensed, infuriated, off the wall, and pretty much pissed the f**k off. Where does he get off still contacting me after months of solitude? How could he miss talking to someone who sent countless text messages and e-mails and made several phone calls? I can't believe I'm admitting it, but I even tried to pop up at his house to confront him. He lives in the boonies of an Atlanta suburb; he's closer to Alabama than Atlanta. I drove out there hoping to rely on my memory, but I realized I missed getting there by one street off. I left two messages, and I never got a response from him. Nothing at all.

I intended to tell him nothing at all because that's what I did for his previous messages. I was so pissed that I had no choice but to text him back: "Go 2 hell! How's that 4 a text?" I was gonna leave it alone and keep it moving because that's what he did.

I've been on a dating hiatus for quite some time now, and I realized that it felt good to be alone. I have my Slumber Parties business that I need to take more seriously; my eating and exercise habits are becoming more focused as I try to become healthier and trimmer; and I have to find a roommate and a place to live by the end of the year. Do I need a man around? Not at all. I like male companionship, but it's nothing critical at this point.

Funny. My curiosity got the best of me, and I wanted to know where his mind was when he decided to bail on me. The worst thing was he bailed exactly one day after I chose to call him over anyone else and share that my dear cousin, DeWayne, had passed. I hadn't been touched like that in a long while, but I knew that he was someone I could count on when I needed the support. When he disappeared, I assumed he was taking a break for a couple of days or maybe a week. He does that when he needs space, and I wouldn't spazz out over that. When it reached two weeks, that's when things changed, but he was like a blown light bulb: OUT.

**This is a long post! Take a break. Get some water, coffee, or some popcorn. Get some air. Isn't this pre-fall weather wonderful?**

To make a long story short, I blew up at him when we eventually talked. I let him apologize several times. I also let him feel funny when I informed him that he had a funny way of showing someone that he missed them when he was incognegro for months. Major synopsis: I was a major bitch.

Did my bitchiness resolve things? No. Now, the words that I chose later helped a lot. He could completely understand where I was coming from because how would you feel if someone wanted to prove they were trustworthy once they broke the trust that they had previously earned? There was no understanding why he bounced.

And why do men do that crap anyway??? If you are having difficulties, you want some time alone, or you just don't want to be bothered with that one chick in particular ever again, just man up and say so. I've said that before, and I still mean it. I live by a few rules, and one of my favorite ones is Say what you mean, and mean what you say. How hard is that crap?

I don't know what to do with him in the meantime. We've talked since Tuesday, and we had some REAL TALK on Wednesday night. Some realities had to be faced. If someone reminds me, I'll speak on them. I don't know if he really should have the chance to be my friend or if he should just be gone. I really don't know. I know a lot of things that he told me, and I understand a lot better now. It still ticks me off.

Now, rest your eyes or post a comment.