I swear this isn't whining....

It's been an unfortunate while since I've posted, but I've been in the midst of so many things. Like anyone with ears and/or eyes already knows, I earned my CDL. That has become one of my greatest accomplishments to date. However, coming across a great opportunity to use it has not been so easy to come by. Honestly, I'm not being picky and refusing job offers. This economy is so hard that there's drivers with years of experience still looking for work, so it's kinda hard for a newbie to compete against experienced drivers.

On top of that, my husband and I have entered the adult world of house shopping. It's not a euphemism for anything kinky. We're seriously house hunting. Interestingly, I am actually completely on board with this despite my fears that my credit wasn't good enough for a loan and my husband's desire to live in...Decatur. *semi-shudder*

Don't get me wrong or call me a snob. Any person raised on the Southside of Atlanta will easily tell you that Decatur seems more like a different world than another part of Atlanta just 30 minutes away. The difference has always been monumental to a kid like me who likes the laidback feel of College Park compared to the crowded hustle and bustle of the Eastside. But our journey into homebuying has shown me that a nice side of Decatur really does exist. (Trust that I did not look anywhere near Memorial Drive because I cannot shake that stigma for anything.) Plus, there's seems to be an energy in that city. A Hustler's Spirit that extends beyond slanging drugs to reach towards legal dreams of entrepreneurship, moving up the corporate ladder. A Go Get 'Em edge that you cannot ignore and have to acknowledge and respect or be suffocated by. So, whenever we buy, our residence will very likely be in Decatur after all, and we will be infected with that energy.

So, houseshopping, jobhunting, and still growing into my role as a wife and a Christian have consumed my life. Some things that hold a dear place in my heart have temporarily taken a backseat until I can step into the next phase of my life. I refuse to sever any ties because I will return.


But there are three things that have an unbearable hold on me and continue to hold me back. Working at the current job that will not lead to a viable career; knowing that my writing skills take a complete backseat to everything else; and my weight issues. If anyone pays attention to my FaceBook status updates, I'm frequently drowning in a sea of sub-mediocrity. The most rampant offenders remind of those fish and creatures that can only be found with special deep-sea diving equipment, so they have no business being out of water...except to make my whole department so drained that we can only return home each day and just regroup, rest, and return the next day for more tidal waves of tomfoolery.



I feel so spent after each workday that I don't blog or write anything or make any efforts towards self-improvement. Well, except my water aerobics days. But I need more than just those three days to get past this weight that's holding me back. The part that fascinates me is I know what I need to do in terms of eating right and exercising more frequently. It just happens to be difficult to get up the motivation and gumption to do it all because of how deflating and depressing my current work situation is. Sometimes, I feel like there's a smooth silky rope around my neck that feels comfortable at first, but then there's an anchor on the other end of the rope that keeps me in that sea of idiocy.

Despite all of the seeming pessimism, my hopes and dreams of moving forward remain. Eventually, I'll get to move forward, but I don't intend to wait too long. Everything will improve with time, so I'm not completely deflated. My hope-filled heart will keep beating, and my dreams will become reality soon enough. I just hope I won't have to wait very long.

Speaking of being uplifted, I found the original "I Am the Black Gold of the Sun" by the psychedelic soul group Rotary Connection which included the incomparable, unforgettable songstress Minnie Ripperton.

Get uplifted, people. Check out the Nuyorican Soul cover from 1997, too.

ROTARY CONNECTION-"I AM THE BLACK GOLD OF THE SUN" (1971)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DR_NMtBEj4



Nuyorican Soul - I Am The Black Gold Of The Sun (4 Hero Remix) song starts at 0:38
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIzqQOs_IrI

Monday has already come and gone. The upside: my newest co-worker and I went to lunch together, and we enjoyed each other's company. We just dig each other. Maybe she and I detect a certain maturity in each other because we both prefer to get the job done and work completely under the radar. The downside: we had to return to the drudgery and torture called "work" one hour later. Brutal... Just gimme my check - er, direct deposit.

As the sands of time keep falling, here comes Tuesday. Besides the last 2 seconds of the video below, the fact remains that I completely relate to what's conveyed in the video below...even on Tuesday. Definitely Wednesday as well. The feeling doesn't begin to wane until Thursday. Oddly, I bet a bunch of people feel the exact same way about their method of making income.


http://www.youtube.com/v/npQC7v73TXg&hl=en&fs=1

My Alphabet

I found this on a messageboard that I frequent. Basically, take each letter of the alphabet and use a word or phrase that pertains to you. I could do this all day everyday:

Anticipating reporting to work on Monday
Better than being laid off
Christ is my Lord and Savior
Diggin' my family
ETA Sigma Alumnae Chapter
Faithful and sisterly sawrahu
Georgia born and Georgia bred
Hell yeah when I die I'll be Georgia Dead
I's married nowq
Just 3.5 months
Kids are being contemplated
Loving coupledom first
Maybe a mommy one day
Nifty auntie today
Open roads
Protective napptural styles
Questing for a CDL
Red afros occasionally
SEC Football loving chick
The ultimate conference
UGA = best school and mascot
Wife of a Togolese
Xi! Chi! Xi! Chi! Xi Xi Xi! Chi! (from the flick Road Trip)
Yes, I like randomness
Zoos suck

That b**** ain't got nuttin' on Karma

Tuesday went nice and normal. I'm working hard trying to get my tasks done before quitting time. Of course, if it's not done, all of that stuff will be waiting for me on Wednesday. Just like it was waiting on me when I returned from my 4 pm lunch at 5 pm. Late lunches are preferred because when you come back from lunch, there's only 1 - 3 hours left to work. Pretty cool.

Well, my boss lady calls me into the office at 5:15 PM, but I get stuck with this crazy lady on the line who doesn't hear me well, gives the wrong answer, and it stretches our phone call out to about 5:45. Grrrrrr. Boss Lady is really understanding because she knows I'm working hard, but this meeting with the lady that signs my timesheets cannot wait until Wednesday. I'm kinda nervous because my lead has been with Boss Lady for quite some time. Maybe they've been meeting to discuss how much more slowly I get my work done than others. All kinds of thoughts are racing through my head like Elroy Jetson flying with a jetpack on his back while high on speed.

Boss Lady just straight shoots: "I had to let 'that Biatch' go. So it'll just be you and the lead for a while, but we're gonna move the other person over and start training her."

In case you forgot, 'that Biatch' is the chick who always gave me a hard time because she was obviously sooo much better at the job than I was. She's first-tier while I'm barely hanging onto second-tier status. She's Hennessey Privelege while I better be glad to be Paul Masson. (More about her at http://sunshynelyfe.blogspot.com/2007/10/co-workers-can-be-funny-as-all-get-out.html and http://sunshynelyfe.blogspot.com/2007/05/being-pressed-must-be-pressing.html.) Actually, we started getting along for the past week before she was let go. Of course, I was keeping my eyes WIDE open because I know how fake she is, but the objective in getting along was making the work week as easy as possible by minimizing the drama whereas she thrived on drama.

When I heard the news about 'that Biatch', I was quite shocked to say the least. Boss Lady tried to ask me a question about moving the other person over, but my words had trouble coming out since I was still so flabbergasted and taken by surprise. No one saw it coming...except Boss Lady and 'that Biatch' so I can't really elaborate on why she got fired considering that's just a bad look.

Just like it would be a really nasty look to rejoice at her losing her job during the holidays. Honestly, I don't want to rejoice because it's just foul even though the links above point out a smidgen of the crap dealt out by that 'woman'. Karma has got be busting a gut still laughing at the circumstances because all of the crap dealt to me and several others was all hit her dead in the face which might be feeling a few drops of Karma's spit on her face. Now, I'm really not rejoicing, but to be real, you would really think I'd be jumping for joy like a kid hearing their favorite morning DJ announce that school (and a day of tests) is out due to a Snow Day. I was never thrilled to hear about her losing her job. That's a woman with a kid at Christmas time who doesn't know exactly where her next paycheck is coming from. Then again, she has a side-hustle that she could take full-time (and she should), so extra concern about her really isn't needed. It's just not cool to openly be excited, and I haven't shown any of that since she's been gone.

In the meantime, Boss Lady made many assurance that my job was safe, and smugness clouded my thoughts while I luckily kept my face humble and worried. Boss Lady has documentation of how well I do my job from customers and the sales staff I support. I KNOW I'm really good to go as long as I don't eff things up, especially now. There are no guarantees that I'm safe, but I just know that I've been doing my part so I don't have to make Karma look me in the eyes and cuss me out. That's exactly what Karma did to 'that Biatch'. Bless her heart for losing her job, but 'that Biatch' earned that title, and she'll keep it...if I ever have to mention her again, but I shouldn't, should I? (Still not dancing. For real, for real.)