The "new 20" is HERE for this young black woman, and the journey is no where near over. A lot of storytelling with some reflecting on myself and relationships, my professional life, getting in shape, and everything else that affects a single 30-something. And I'm so glad the "second puberty" of my 20s is OVA!
This mix of sorrow and outrage cannot be ignored. The last time I felt so horribly was when I was driving home from an Atlanta suburb in rainy conditions on a dark country road. I was taking it slowly when a huge raccoon came from nowhere and crossed my path. Being the animal lover I am, I truly wanted to slam on brakes or swerve to avoid killing the critter. For all I know, it could be a mother rushing off to her babies. But I was stuck in a curvy, slick road in a dark area. The only viable option I could choose was to proceed to take the life of this animal. I heard and felt the impact and was devastated that I ended an animal's life. But what else could I do: risk ending my own life in the woods because my car could've swerved where no passerby would've seen me? I prayed for forgiveness and felt better by the next evening.
The life or death choices surrounding Derrion Albert do not compare to my experience, but the contrasts outrage me. A 16-year old black male honor student in Chicago was senselessly killed on his way home from school. Not by a bus or a car but other young black boy involved in gangs. Derrion's violent end was captured on video that mortified me as well as thousands of other YouTube users. I cannot imagine what it was like for Derrion to endure strikes and blows to the head by fists, feet, railroad ties, and large wooden planks.
Worst of all, help did not come to him until he was knocked unconscious for a second time. There were people that appeared to try to help him, but it seems other gang members were ready to beat up anyone trying to get near Derrion. When it was all over, a group of people picked him up and tried to help him. They called his name in vain attempts to wake up the young man, but his bright future, like so many others before, was snuffed out.
I want to cry, scream, and wish prisoner-style justice on these young thugs. The kind of justice they reserve for men who beat women and child molesters. I've heard of this type of violence before, but this was the first time I've ever seen anything so violent with my own naive eyes. If you haven't seen it, I have a graphic video below. The censored version is disturbing enough, so there's no way I could post the uncensored version.
I pray that Derrion is able to rest in peace and his death may actually lead to a turn around on Chicago's Southside. So far, people have come together to hold a vigil in Chicago. The cops will reported be present for a couple of more days and longer if needed. However, what will hopefully happen is more people on the Southside will be more personally involved with raising their children better and providing positive reinforcement even if the children are not their own. Maybe more people will just give a damn and come together to end the foolishness that plagues our nation. Just maybe.
And maybe Oprah will try to have an impact on the Southside of Chicago. My friend who lives on the Southside says she has nothing to do with that side of town, but we all know how worldwide Ms. Winfrey is. Maybe President Obama will also address this in some way since he used to serve that area. I would hope he could just speak to the people while he's busy addressing the International Olympic Committee to get the 2016 Summer Olympics into Chicago. Talk about poor prioritizing by a city...
Even after expressing myself, I still need to have a good cry. News Article from LA Timeshttp://tinyurl.com/yclncbg Very appropriate music thanks to the suggestion by my friend in Chicago:
After entering the gate without hitting a curb possibly hitting a gate, the examiner asked me to stop the vehicle, park the truck, and meet him inside. No indication of a pass or fail. I waited and waited about 30 minutes on pins and needles. I felt confident that I passed the driving portion because the pre-trip went well, and the backing maneuvers were flawless as I earned no points. When the examiner came back with that sealed envelope with my test results, I nearly tackled him as I rushed to receive my reward and embraced him. I hugged errybody in the room!!! I squealed with delight as the fruits of my labor and sacrifice were finally completed.
I'm very much so on my way to being a pretty trucker, and all the praise goes to God. I prayed so much in the past 24 hours, and I kept encountering scriptures that would speak to my situation despite the worry. Today, I visited a site and found that Mark 11:24 says, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours (http://www.christnotes.org/dbv.php?d=2009-03-23)". Oddly, I prayed and request prayer that I wouldn't have to perform parallel parking because it proved difficult for me as I was often hit or miss on completing the maneuver. However, I also prayed that if I received parallel, then I knew God would guide me through it because He already helped he obtain the knowledge and skills set; I would just have to apply what I know. I prayed from Him to be with me again when I had to perform the task, and I pretty much KILLED it. It was perfectly in the box, and I knew I had passed the maneuvers...with no points!!!
I don't have any jobs lined up yet because things will take time and have some other things I have to accomplish first. However, I hope to be working in the field quite soon. I will stay with God on this part of plan as He has already proven He is the one to be with on this thing called Life. I'm so blessed today, and I hope this has blessed someone, anyone who wants to be a trucker or anything else they dream to be. It's never too late, and it's never too much if you go with God. He never left me and was just waiting for me to come to Him. Look what happened when I did. I will be a pretty trucker in the very near future. God is sooo cool. :)
NOTE: I found this awesome graphic at http://www.girlscantwhat.com/2008/03/05/meet-trucker-pamela-febbo/. Found it today, and LOVE IT!
will be my year. After all, I made it through 8 years of Bush. If I can survive that with God's blessings, I can survive anything after that. The same is true for any and everybody else. Tears damn near came when I realized the year of Obama had arrived after all the time under Bush.
But so much more is yet to come for me. After all, I ended 2008 by earning my CDL Class A Permit. Truck driving school will start on January 12, and I'll be striving full-steam ahead towards my future and my goals. The road ahead is guaranteed to be interesting with a full-time job and nearly full-time school, but anything worth having will be very much worth this sacrifice. Anticipation is high for the weeks ahead.
In the meantime, I've figured out just some of the things that will rest next to the 2008 stop sign as I keep on truckin' in 2009. Thanks to my homie, "Chyna", for the inspiration.
Procrastinating in developing my relationship with God. My delay has more to deal with the fact that we're always told that God is always there with you. Always. Even if you turn away from Him, He's always there for you whenever you turn back to Him. In theory, you can just hang out in the devil's playground until I start collecting on my 401K. Trifling but honest. I know my relationship with Him can be so much more, especially since He's been so good to me in 2008, so I'm gonna stop putting off my efforts.
Trifling neighbors with no concept of time or courtesy.Hubby and I love the downstairs unit we're renting in a duplex, but it happens to come with ignant PhD. candidates not from the US who just turned off their music at 3:55 AM. I don't know if the cops ever came or not, but they're more ignant than any of the neighbors I had in those shoddy townhouse units my brother, NOPI, and I rented in East Point. Translation: These European kids are more ignant than my ghetto-fabulous black neighbors.
Weight gain. I'm trying to lose right now, but there will be no additional gain.
Tolerating the friends/family that do not have any concern for me
Dispair over the people in my life that don't get me. There's great people that get me for real.
Self-pity and self-doubt
Being stressed by my job...that doesn't get stressed by me
Hubby's hangups that have nothing to do with me. I will not keep banging my head into the wall when I've pointed out the obvious that should dismiss his hangups.
Any of my residual hangups that have yet to be determined
I never thought I'd appreciate anything Senator John McCain did, especially after hearing the story of how he created a huge calamity at sea when he was in the service. That calamity cost hundreds of lives according to my source. Guess I should look that up....
BUT THIS WAS WAY MORE IMPORTANT!!! Last night, I had to go to sleep on the Presidential debates because a lady has to wake up and go to work. I was listening to Q100 in Atlanta, and I heard that Sen. McCain refused to shake Senator Barack Obama's hand. I was thinking, "There must be a misunderstanding. No one would be silly enough to act like that in front of several dozen people including Tom Brokaw and definitely not while the cameras are rolling." I searched through a few Presidential debate videos on YouTube. Then, I figured I should search for "McCain refuses" and sort by date added... VOILA!
I watched the short clip below twice and had to see that this experienced Senator who knows everything about how to save our country doesn't know the first thing about common courtesy. How do you consider yourself to be a presidential candidate but refuse to do something as simple as shake your well-spoken opponent's hand? How can I trust you to handle the complicated tasks of a presidency when you cannot shake the hand of the man that obviously has an edge on you after the debate? How can Sen. McCain really be trusted to be the face of America when meeting with international officials and diplomats? What I can trust is if someone shines more than McCain in anyway, then McCain will nearly act like a eight year old Little Leaguer who lost a game. Granted, McCain didn't physically move away from Obama's outstretched right hand, but McCain's refusal to return the silent gesture speaks volumes about his character.
In short, THANK YOU, Senator McCain! There were some undecided voters watching, and I'm confident that those few seconds of your life swayed some undecided voters to be sure to cast their votes for Senator Obama. Not to mention your lackluster decision of Governor Palin as your vice-presidential running mate. I can't thank you enough for your decision making skills.
I finally found a nice groove in my writings and such. Then, my job gets wacky...to put it mildly. So, what's a woman with aspirations to do? Get on top of making those aspirations happening.
For the past two weeks, I've been studying in the Georgia CDL manual to get ready to take the General Knowledge test. I've been highlighting in five different colors, writing little side notes that help me, and taking a practice tests online at CristCDL.com. Challenging is not the word for it considering that my memory is shaky. However, would it really be worth it if there weren't some type of challenge involved? If I could just memorize the answers to a test, sure that would get me closer to the goal of being behind the wheel of a eighteen-wheeler all over the Southeast. But would I be one of those ill-prepared drivers that causes tractor trailer wrecks that tie-up interstates and pisses off soccer moms and commuting corporate cogs trying to arrive on time to their spot in the machine?
Naw. I'll just study and therefore limit my blogging time. It makes me sad to limit my blogs, but I have a dream to achieve. Thanks to my friends who have been impressed and so encouraging when learning that I'm working hard to make things happen.
PS GOOOOOO DAWGS!!! That was a tough game against those nasty Gamecocks, but a victory is a victory. 3-0! Woof woof woof!
Just 15 years ago, I was in the SCOPE/FTMS Summer program for 6 weeks on the campus of Clark Atlanta University. I honestly had hopes of being an 8th Grade Algebra teacher, so it made sense to try to become a Future Teacher of Math and Science. Thank God I found out that I couldn't handle math and science, but it was a fun summer. Thank God that I learned a lot about the good and the bad of Greek life before going to college. This experience lead me to one definite decision based on an idea that all Greeks should live by.
Those 6 weeks were my first time away from home...even though my family was a 25 minute ride down the interstate. Living in the dorms that college students live in and sneak around in. Eating that campus dining hall food -- I mean not having a lot of tasty choices in what to eat because a lot of the food was..... Meeting other students from southern GA and other East and West Coast states across the country. Learning a lot about how crazy life can be because young people in the midst of their formative years can be straight up fools. But I did make some friends there that were just regular girls like me. Not popular, not complete nerds, but just making it through puberty.
One of the highlights was being mentored by some of the college students. There were 2 guys and 2 girls. One guy and girl were just regular students who taught us valuable lessons. To this day, I can't remember the guy's name, but I remember him telling a small group of us in a casual convo, "If y'all [the couple] have to hit on one another, then y'all ain't supposed to be together." If a man or woman has to get their point across with fists instead of conversation, then they shouldn't be together. That simple idea has never left me, and I still pass that on to others.
The other guy and girl were members of two of the Divine Nine fraternities and sororities. I don't recall the guys name, but he was a member of Alpha Phi Alpha. Looking back, he fit the stereotype of an Alpha very well: scholarly, arrogant, and fun to be around. He expected a lot of all of his mentees, and we lived up to those expectations for the most part. I'd bet money that several of those young men in our program were influenced to become Alphas. The female mentor was a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha. She completely fit the AKA stereotype: attractive, full of arrogant "pretty girl" attitude, excelling. She had a lot of expectations of us as well, and most of us lived up to her standards.
The Greek mentors decided to teach the 40+ students how to step. After attending classes and being enlightened to what the world held beyond our middle class teenaged lives during the day, the students were taken to on campus locations to learn stepping. Our mentor happened to have her chapter soror and Step Mistress on campus. She worked with us very hard and never made us feel bad about what were doing. They also "bonded" the 20 - 30 young ladies by making us "duck walk" from our dorm to the step practice location and back for the return. They even modified one of the pledge songs so we can sing together about striving to be number one. I'm sure that part of this experience was the first exposure to greekdom for some of the girls just like it was for me. The stepping was fun and made me want to have the fun side of greekdom, but our mentor told us about the community service, etc. so we knew it wasn't just singing and stepping.
But one night while we had part of our step practice in front of the dorm, another pivotal event happened. Our mentor, the attractive AKA, had all of us doing one of the first parts of the step routine. Girls from the Upward Bound program were looking out of their windows and making suggestions as to what we should do. Our mentor ignored the comments and kept us focused. She reminded us that all kinds of things will be shouted during a step show, and you have to remain focused to put on a good show.
The girls from Upward Bound were distracting, but then another college-aged woman came outside through the front door of the dorm. She wore a t-shirt, shorts, a head wrap, and no shoes. This young lady said she wanted to show us something. This young lady proceeded to step in front of us for 10 seconds. With no shoes. HARD. The young girls in the windows cheered wildly for the young lady who must've been an Upward Bound mentor. As she left, our FTMS mentor had the most unamused look on her face as she slowly clapped and encouraged us mentees to clap for her so we can get back to practice.
That incident was my first introduction to that sorority. That first introduction lead to my first impression: I don't want to be one of those sorority girls. Whatever the 1993 equivalent of "ghetto" was, that's what that young lady lead me to believe about her sorority. She broke a cardinal rule of Greekdom: always represent yourself to the utmost at all times because you never know who will meet you and therefore meet your organization for the first time. She was so busted that I knew I couldn't consider an org that would include a woman that steps hard on concrete inthe middle of the night. Therefore, I barely considered that sorority for even a split second when I started my long journey to greekdom.
I'm very much in love with my wonderful fiancee. How did this happen when I never blogged about him? Well...that was the plan. This year, I finally learned some discretion when blogging , and look at the beautiful results. (Um, that ain't us to the left.)
I really don't have time to make one of my usually long posts because we're in the middle of moving in together. (NOTE: I drove a big old Chevy truck to move my first load and was so HAPPY the whole time I was driving. No one else wanted to drive all of that heavy duty metal. Hence, I haven't given up on the idea of truck driving.) Shacking up was never in my plans, but life doesn't always go according to plan. I've always heard that if you really want to make God laugh, then tell him your plans.
I wonder what will happen on the kids front because I've told people for the longest that I don't want kids.
12.10.2007
Vick sentenced to 23 months for dogfighting
RICHMOND, Virginia (CNN) -- Michael Vick, once one of the highest paid players in the National Football League, was sentenced to 23 months in prison for financing a dogfighting ring and helping to kill pit bulls that did not fight aggressively.
Vick's stunning downfall from NFL superstar to disgraced dogfighting defendant culminated Monday in a 90-minute sentencing hearing in federal court in Richmond, Virginia. Vick was dressed in a black-and-white striped prison suit and apologized to his family and to the judge.
"You need to apologize also to the millions of young people who look up to you," U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson retorted.
"I am willing to deal with the consequences and accept responsibility for my actions," Vick continued, as about a dozen of his friends and family members looked on.
But Judge Hudson appeared to be unmoved. "I'm convinced it was not a momentary lack of judgment on your part. You were a full partner," he told Vick.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/12/10/vick.sentenced/index.html I blasted Michael Vick when he first got in trouble because he was experiencing a clear example of bad decision-making. I swear "bad decision-making" must be the overall theme of 2007 that no one seems to escape. Hopefully we can shake that matter in '08.
At this point, there's really no matter of kicking him further. He's already down for the count while facing 23 months in prison - maybe less with good behavior. The man is a shining example of all that can go wrong with one bad decision leading to another and another in a cycle whose viciousness can rival a down and dirty dogfight ending in a mauled animal. Even as he's preparing to do his time, he'll have to face the very real possibility (not necessarily a likelihood) that he won't play in the NFL because no one wants a public relations nightmare because they signed a talented quarterback associated with a violent and disgusting "past-time" like dogfighting. Vick's got enough troubles, so he doesn't need me or anyone else riding him. He isn't at rock-bottom, but he's pretty far down.
Hopefully, he'll see this as a beginning instead of just an end. His life really can turn around from here. He doesn't have to have a place in history as the fastest-falling celebrity. Maybe he'll become a symbol of forgiveness, reflection, insightfulness, growing in your walk with God. Just maybe. There are thousands (probably millions) of people that strongly dislike him, but there's thousands that will support him. Not just as an athlete but maybe as a human being that slipped, fell short of God, but had the god sense God gave him to finally do right and PUSH (pray until something happens) forward.
So many of us should be able to see ourselves in this kind of parallel. I know I've made some bad moves in the past. Who says I'll be done making bad decisions? The bad decision may not be so widely broadcast, but I pray that any of us that makes a bad decision has a support system: Mom, Dad, any relatives, our spouse or lover, life partner, pee wee basketball coach, best friend from elementary school, the matronly church sister with the biggest hats. Anyone that can see past the mistake and bad decision and stand by you.
P.S. I tried to find an image for redemption, forgiveness, faithfulness, regret, etc. Nothing quite worked - not even a cross (because what if Vick finds Buddhism, Judaism, or Islam to be his religious foundation...?).
