Contemplating All the Time

I feel bad for not blogging for so long. However, I've been dealing with A LOT in my life. The short version is I've been hit on by a variety of characters that helped me hone my skills when it comes to flushing the crap down the toilet. One guy was still married and ready to make a move because of the chemistry we had while dancing and talking. He was eventually gonna make me his girl on the side just waiting for the day he would leave his wife. Riiiight. The young fool took me to a drive-in where we went dutch, and he actually asked me, "Do you like oral?" during the date. Like my panties were gonna just disappear and we would get down to business. Just one disappointment after another.

However, one friend who was lurking but still being my friend got closer to me despite my resistance. He always claimed, "I love you," since I've met him, and my responses were, "You don't know me." But he really knew how to treat me the way I wanted and deserved to be treated. And he digs me for me, not what I could be. On November 25, we officially became a couple. It's only been 2 months, and I think he really does love me. I feel very strongly for him, but I beleive I'm emotionally dragging my feet because of all the stuff I've encoutnered so far at 30. I want to love. I just don't want to be hurt again. I'm just taking my time.

I'm still doing me in the meantime. I've fallen off my workout regimen because I hurt my heel pretty badly. I did the AIDS Walk but didn't have the best support for me in my shoes. I've been lightly limping since. I've ridden a stationary bike quite a few times, and I love to change the resitstance, challenge myself to a hig speed for abou 1 or 2 minutes, and feel the sweat. It's not as much sweat as I'd feel on the elliptical, but it's better than nothing. THen somehow, I've just stopped. I'm sure a great deal of it stems from being with someone who loves me just the way I am. He actually wishes I were bigger - no deal. I'll stay exactly the same before I pile on pounds. No one is worth me making my health completely decline by adding weight. Not even free Chick-Fil-A for a year, and I love those Mint Cookies 'n' Cream milkshakes.

But while I'm getting more and more consumed in this fast-moving romance, I just learned of Latasha Norman being a missing woman on Wednesday. Most people didn't hear about her disappearance because of mass media ignoring a non-white with blonde hair. It took FaceBook networking and adamant requests from the public for some national coverage of Latasha's story. As usual, we all suspect foul play from a current or former boyfriend because we hear a lot about that these days. As usual, we were right.

Based on the limited media details I read, Latasha broke up with her boyfriend months ago. But they were both students at Jackson State Univesity in Jackson, Mississippi so they were bound to bump into each other at the small school. On October 9, Latasha called police outside of a restaurant because Stanley hit her. Then on November 13, she winds up missing. Now, Stanley has been charged with Latasha's murder. Her body was found on November 29 and appeared to be 2 weeks into the decomposing process.

There's so many elements to this that are really jacking with my mind. For one, domestic violence has lead to an early death several times for several unfortunate ladies and their families. It might have been a case similar to Latasha's where she actually cut off the relationship, or it could be a case where the woman stayed when she should have left. It's even more disturbing that a 20 year old woman is no longer here because her 24 year old criminal justice major of an ex-boyfriend threw his life away because he couldn't handle rejection. It just doesn't make sense to me to give up my freedom because someone doesn't want to be with me.

That leads me to wonder about my sweetie. My boyfriend really is a genuinely sweet, shy, and funny guy who's kind, generous, and way more understanding and patient than any guy I've ever dated. However, I haven't had the opportunity to see him get truly upset (besides him stuttering to find the right words to protest my "You don't know me" response to his dail claims of loving me). Will he flip out like this? Will I ever be in danger?

I still recall one night after another long step practice, there were about 6 of the 9 step team members still outside before going home. We were talking about the case of Tynesha Stewart who was killed by her ex-boyfriend. He actually dismembered her body and burned her remains on a grill. Disgusting and unreal.... But one married soror was telling us singles, "Be careful of these men y'all are dating. You have no idea who you're dealing with. We don't want to see any of our names in the headlines because of who we dated." That sticks with me because we don't know. That can apply to a married woman as well as a single woman, but her motherly concern stuck with me. Stories like these help me on stay on my toes while dating.

Prayers go out to the family of Latasha Norman facing this new unfortunate circumstance as well as Tynesha Stewart's family who may take a very long time finding peace in these matters.

Sources:

http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071129/NEWS/71129039
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071129/NEWS/71129031
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/190902/texas_man_slaughters_and_grills_teens.html