He's on my mind when I open my eyes. I have to remember to thank God for waking me up again because He didn't have to wake me up, and then my mind goes back to him. Each day of the past week, I've thought of my friend, "Bones" the domino player, extensively. I got to see him three times last week, and it was delicious. I replay our conversations, cuddles, and kisses because they're all so..."cracktacular". Yes, everything I'm experiencing about my recently resurrected friend is that addictive and enjoyable for me. Anything different from what I endured with that big nosed Sam should be orgasmic.

Of course, there has to be complications. What would a "love life" be without complications? The one complication that is really messing with me is how Bones is already playing that same game that a lot of guys play, whether intentional or not. I haven't seen or heard from him since the 4th of July when we saw a beautiful fireworks display. I had some family with me, and he had family and friends in his entourage, but we managed to cuddle together on his blanket as I oohed and awwed at the specatacular. I usually act like I'm 10 when there are pyrotechnics in the sky...not the neighborhood variety, but the professional ones. We regrettably had to part ways, but we shared a nice hug. Haven't heard from him since.

Now, I find myself consumed with two books that are proving to provide glorious advice to eager and anxious women like me. The basic idea that I'm embracing is "Don't call him; let him call you." What I'm hoping is the reason my friend isn't calling is because "He doesn't want to appear weak by being to eager to call. He's hoping to maintain control in the situation." Maybe.... But does it really have to take 4 days to maintain that self-control? Two days oughta do it. Hell, the way I see it, you're never weak if you reach out to the woman who makes you smile and laugh more easily than you have in sometime. But that's my warped female's logic.

I just have to wait it out because there's no way I'm calling him based on the history with Bones (more on that later). The next time he does call, I'll have to play the game with him. He'll call; I won't act mad that he hasn't called for several days; the conversation will last 5 -10 minutes; and I'll end the conversation with, "Thanks for calling, but I've got a lot going on over here. Can we talk later?" Would he really say no? He better not. So, the call would end on my terms, and he wouldn't hear from me again for several days. If I can wait, so can he, right?

The sad thing: I honestly don't like playing "the game". If you like someone, then just put yourself out there to get to know them, get closer, and hopefully develop something real. You can exercise some self-preservation (I hate that phrase) in the beginning because it's natural to keep your guard up. But how can you set up your guard against someone when you don't take the time to talk to them or spend time with them? Frankly, my guard is not just a wall; I have a woman in uniform with her shooting hand gently poised on her gun holster just waiting for the cue. She's calm and easy-going for now because the boss doesn't want things to go immediately to being messy, but the guard is cocked and loaded if there's some mess ahead.