I was really digging "Harold". I thought he was really digging me. How obvious it was that we were beyond right for each other but more like destined. The chemistry was more electric than anything I had ever experienced. Our kisses were always explosive, head-spinning, mind-blowing. Hell, I ignored his less than pleasant breath and his less than flawless teeth (more like tooth) because I was absolutely crazy about Harold. I had never experienced anything so intense. It even led to us sleeping together kind of quickly, but it felt so right that it couldn't be wrong. Yet, I cannot find him now.
Well, I could find him because it wasn't so hard for me to zip over there one Thursday evening for an impromptu chat. So what if I had his phone number and e-mail address which would make it easier and more cost-effective to contact him? Face to face always works wonders, and that's what I was expecting when I just dropped in on him. Long story short: we talked for 45 minutes and decided to start over as platonic friends. He promised to call me on Friday, but I couldn't answer the phone in the middle of a play, so I had to return his call later. I ain't heard from him since.
The funny part? I'm not as concerned (definitely not as crazed) as I was before last Thursday. It's on him to make anything happen between us, and if it doesn't, I'll be cool.
I know that sounds awfully ironic or even false considering that I'm writing a blog entry about him, but it's absolutely true. I was in a frenzy before Thursday's visit. Since then, pretty cool. I'm not waiting on his call because I have two other men in my life that are crazy about me, and I like both of them. It's just insane that he's the one I would like to be with moreso than the other two. It's always the ones that treat us the worst that we want the most! What's wrong with us??? And don't play like it's just women that behave that way.
Harold may have decided that I was too much of a lunatic (borderline stalker) to spend time with. Maybe. Here's what kills me about you men: If you don't want to be bothered with someone or you've lost interest in someone or whatever, why don't you just "BE A MAN" and say so? If you are not feeling that someone, just freaking say so. It makes no sense to just avoid someone when you could easily be a true man and just face the real. What's so hard in that? So someone's feelings would be hurt by the truth; it would be less painful IN THE LONG RUN than never hearing the reason or having to figure out the lies that were told. Didn't any of you ever hear that old adage, "What happens in the dark will eventually come to light"? Even if you don't tell the truth in the beginning, all lies, falsehoods, misgivings, etc will rear their ugly head in due time.
I know I probably sound bitter. I've been hurt more than once. That's the funny part! I already had a gut feeling that this guy would hurt me, but I still like him. I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to my Kem CD again without thinking about that magical night with him. *sigh*
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