You're still married, right?

Someone recently asked me why I don't write about being married. "You're a newlywed, so you should still be in your honeymoon period," s/he said. "Has he already started showing his ass?"

My mind had to soak up the inquiries and let those ideas marinate. This single person really seemed set on the idea that if my subject matter was not "all HUBBY, all the time!" that we must be unhappy already. Every word out of my mouth and on my blog was not about acquiring the new title of "wife" and ensuring that my mate kept the title "happy husband", so the must be problems rearing their aesthetically challenged heads, right?

*SIGHHHHHHHHHH*

Honestly, these have been the best 5 months and 3 weeks ever. Marrying hubby has been the best decision I ever made. He's really the sweetest, kindest man that I've ever known, but best believe that he's all man, not some punk. Granted, he's not perfect because we find that we disagree and have different viewpoints, but I would choose him again and again rather than go with someone I agree with 100%.

HOWEVER, my happiness in my marriage does not take over my life. My oldest sister and one of my favorite sorors both gave me a solid piece of advice before I married: "Don't lose who you are." I honestly live by that credo because it took me just about 30 years to figure out who I really am. Getting married at 30 1/2 years was not going to shatter that progress, and it still hasn't. My hubby has always loved me for my virtues and my perfect imperfections because I am always me. We make a life together, and we have fun.

However, I've seen too many episodes of talk shows where some sap (male or female) discusses their significant other and sheds tears as they say something along the lines of "S/He completes me." I've met men and women who actually exhibit signs that their man or woman really does complete their lives. BUT(!) as for moi, my marriage does not encompass my existence, and I refuse to become one of those wives that is identified solely by being married to a man. I have always had the point of view that any wo/man is a complement to a wo/man's life, not a goal toward completion.

So, the short version of the answer to why don't I talk marriage all day: "I don't want to bore myself or anyone else." I just can't bear the idea of me becoming one of those people that can't talk about themselves because they are consumed by their spouse, and now they're finally validated as a real person because someone wants them. No, no, no, not your girl. Not ever.