Derrion Albert

This mix of sorrow and outrage cannot be ignored. The last time I felt so horribly was when I was driving home from an Atlanta suburb in rainy conditions on a dark country road. I was taking it slowly when a huge raccoon came from nowhere and crossed my path. Being the animal lover I am, I truly wanted to slam on brakes or swerve to avoid killing the critter. For all I know, it could be a mother rushing off to her babies. But I was stuck in a curvy, slick road in a dark area. The only viable option I could choose was to proceed to take the life of this animal. I heard and felt the impact and was devastated that I ended an animal's life. But what else could I do: risk ending my own life in the woods because my car could've swerved where no passerby would've seen me? I prayed for forgiveness and felt better by the next evening.

The life or death choices surrounding Derrion Albert do not compare to my experience, but the contrasts outrage me. A 16-year old black male honor student in Chicago was senselessly killed on his way home from school. Not by a bus or a car but other young black boy involved in gangs. Derrion's violent end was captured on video that mortified me as well as thousands of other YouTube users. I cannot imagine what it was like for Derrion to endure strikes and blows to the head by fists, feet, railroad ties, and large wooden planks.

Worst of all, help did not come to him until he was knocked unconscious for a second time. There were people that appeared to try to help him, but it seems other gang members were ready to beat up anyone trying to get near Derrion. When it was all over, a group of people picked him up and tried to help him. They called his name in vain attempts to wake up the young man, but his bright future, like so many others before, was snuffed out.

I want to cry, scream, and wish prisoner-style justice on these young thugs. The kind of justice they reserve for men who beat women and child molesters. I've heard of this type of violence before, but this was the first time I've ever seen anything so violent with my own naive eyes. If you haven't seen it, I have a graphic video below. The censored version is disturbing enough, so there's no way I could post the uncensored version.


http://www.myfoxchicago.com/dpp/news/metro/video_derrion_albert#

I pray that Derrion is able to rest in peace and his death may actually lead to a turn around on Chicago's Southside. So far, people have come together to hold a vigil in Chicago. The cops will reported be present for a couple of more days and longer if needed. However, what will hopefully happen is more people on the Southside will be more personally involved with raising their children better and providing positive reinforcement even if the children are not their own. Maybe more people will just give a damn and come together to end the foolishness that plagues our nation. Just maybe.

And maybe Oprah will try to have an impact on the Southside of Chicago. My friend who lives on the Southside says she has nothing to do with that side of town, but we all know how worldwide Ms. Winfrey is. Maybe President Obama will also address this in some way since he used to serve that area. I would hope he could just speak to the people while he's busy addressing the International Olympic Committee to get the 2016 Summer Olympics into Chicago. Talk about poor prioritizing by a city...

Even after expressing myself, I still need to have a good cry.

News Article from LA Times http://tinyurl.com/yclncbg

Very appropriate music thanks to the suggestion by my friend in Chicago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxyYP_bS_6s

Procrastination :: My Kryptonite

All of my life, distractions of any kind have always been able to capture my attention better than what the things that really deserve my effort and energy. I might be wrong, but I'll blame my being born on the cusp of Cancer for that. "Men in Black II" is aiight but not so great that it justifies putting off my studies. Specifically, I'll blame special effect and computer graphics on this hour of procrastination.

See, the idea of "everything will work out...it always does" has plagued me forever. Usually, that idea has worked in my favor 92% of the time. But then I have to remember that I don't live in a sitcom.

So, after a 5-hour nap since returning home, checking Fa.cebook, and watching randomness on TV (I don't get Conan or Jimmy Kimmell on late night), I'll pull out the CDL manual and study. My future and sanity are at stake. I'll end the night praying for courage and strength in the next month. I will need it with the changes I see coming.

This link below is so fitting for how I'll feel about the changes I forsee....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7edeOEuXdMU

Tomfoolery of the feminine kind

Illness and injury have beaten me down all week long. To be more graphic and honest, I experienced one of the worst menstrual cycles I have had in years on top of a recurring back injury. I've been applying heat and ice packs at the same time. Plus, I scavenged my medicine cabinet for any muscle relaxers from previous injuries. God was good to me when I found some expired pills that I had to take, and they proved heavenly. My body probably cannot completely figure out which way is up with all these treatments.

At one point, nausea, lightheadness, and dizziness hit me all at one sad time during the workday. My body temperature started to rise, too. The first aid cabinet upstairs only had bandages, ointments, and alcohol swabs but no thermometers or other tools to help me out. So, to save myself from further injury aggravation that could make me cuss, I get on the elevator to go back to my area one floor below, and that's when the fun really began.

The doors closed, and I couldn't look at myself in the brassy doors. I just laid my head on the wall for what seemed like an eternity in a moving sauna greased with molasses. I swear my body was nearly on fire by the time the doors opened. Two of my male colleagues just stared at me as I exited the elevator fanning myself with my hand and rushing to the ladies' room. The cold water couldn't come out of the faucet fast enough as I started splashing my face with liquid lusciousness. The wet spots on my blouse never mattered one bit as my body thankfully started cooling down. I had to wet some paper towels to take with me because I couldn't risk spontaneous combustion before I returned to me desk.




When I barely made it back to my desk without fainting, my inner slacker immediately thought, "What da hayle? I gotta get outta here! I'm sick!" Then, another cool coworker saw me and asked if I was okay.

I'm positive I had a pathetic look on my pale face as I replied, "Noooo. I'm super hot for no good damn reason."

She quickly replies, "Maybe you're having a private summer."

Then, my face had to read, "Bulls--t". Private summer as in menopausal hot flash? No. Way. I quietly advised, "That can't be right. I'm on my cycle right now having the worst cramps ever. Hot flashes are only for old ladies that forgot who Aunt Flo is."

My co-worker, who is a couple of years under me but pretty mature, coolly and easily schools me that hot flashes can happen during a cycle for non-menopausal women. What the hell? That's news to me. Mama never talked to me about that, and I don't recall that being a subject during high school health class or even a daytime talk show. Ever. This is some hogwash joke my co-worker's trying to play on me. But a few minute later, a second co-worker tells me the same exact madness about hot flashes during a cycle.

This newsflash just shattered my little world. The situation felt bad enough when I realized one of life's secrets had just finally been revealed to me. My perspective worsened when I recognized that my maturing early thirties body had betrayed me once again. I already deal with acne breakouts from time to time. Hot flashes, too? Hot flashes. For me? For real? Damn.

Thankfully, I survived my internal betrayal and the urges to take the rest of the day off. But can I trust my body again after this? Are there more jokes and trickery for me to endure? Well, if there are more shenanigans ahead, I'll make the wise choice to endure them since this body is the only one God blessed me with, kinks and all. I'll just be sure to keep sipping ice water.

I swear this isn't whining....

It's been an unfortunate while since I've posted, but I've been in the midst of so many things. Like anyone with ears and/or eyes already knows, I earned my CDL. That has become one of my greatest accomplishments to date. However, coming across a great opportunity to use it has not been so easy to come by. Honestly, I'm not being picky and refusing job offers. This economy is so hard that there's drivers with years of experience still looking for work, so it's kinda hard for a newbie to compete against experienced drivers.

On top of that, my husband and I have entered the adult world of house shopping. It's not a euphemism for anything kinky. We're seriously house hunting. Interestingly, I am actually completely on board with this despite my fears that my credit wasn't good enough for a loan and my husband's desire to live in...Decatur. *semi-shudder*

Don't get me wrong or call me a snob. Any person raised on the Southside of Atlanta will easily tell you that Decatur seems more like a different world than another part of Atlanta just 30 minutes away. The difference has always been monumental to a kid like me who likes the laidback feel of College Park compared to the crowded hustle and bustle of the Eastside. But our journey into homebuying has shown me that a nice side of Decatur really does exist. (Trust that I did not look anywhere near Memorial Drive because I cannot shake that stigma for anything.) Plus, there's seems to be an energy in that city. A Hustler's Spirit that extends beyond slanging drugs to reach towards legal dreams of entrepreneurship, moving up the corporate ladder. A Go Get 'Em edge that you cannot ignore and have to acknowledge and respect or be suffocated by. So, whenever we buy, our residence will very likely be in Decatur after all, and we will be infected with that energy.

So, houseshopping, jobhunting, and still growing into my role as a wife and a Christian have consumed my life. Some things that hold a dear place in my heart have temporarily taken a backseat until I can step into the next phase of my life. I refuse to sever any ties because I will return.


But there are three things that have an unbearable hold on me and continue to hold me back. Working at the current job that will not lead to a viable career; knowing that my writing skills take a complete backseat to everything else; and my weight issues. If anyone pays attention to my FaceBook status updates, I'm frequently drowning in a sea of sub-mediocrity. The most rampant offenders remind of those fish and creatures that can only be found with special deep-sea diving equipment, so they have no business being out of water...except to make my whole department so drained that we can only return home each day and just regroup, rest, and return the next day for more tidal waves of tomfoolery.



I feel so spent after each workday that I don't blog or write anything or make any efforts towards self-improvement. Well, except my water aerobics days. But I need more than just those three days to get past this weight that's holding me back. The part that fascinates me is I know what I need to do in terms of eating right and exercising more frequently. It just happens to be difficult to get up the motivation and gumption to do it all because of how deflating and depressing my current work situation is. Sometimes, I feel like there's a smooth silky rope around my neck that feels comfortable at first, but then there's an anchor on the other end of the rope that keeps me in that sea of idiocy.

Despite all of the seeming pessimism, my hopes and dreams of moving forward remain. Eventually, I'll get to move forward, but I don't intend to wait too long. Everything will improve with time, so I'm not completely deflated. My hope-filled heart will keep beating, and my dreams will become reality soon enough. I just hope I won't have to wait very long.

Speaking of being uplifted, I found the original "I Am the Black Gold of the Sun" by the psychedelic soul group Rotary Connection which included the incomparable, unforgettable songstress Minnie Ripperton.

Get uplifted, people. Check out the Nuyorican Soul cover from 1997, too.

ROTARY CONNECTION-"I AM THE BLACK GOLD OF THE SUN" (1971)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DR_NMtBEj4



Nuyorican Soul - I Am The Black Gold Of The Sun (4 Hero Remix) song starts at 0:38
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIzqQOs_IrI

Don't tell me God ain't real because I PASSED!!!

After entering the gate without hitting a curb possibly hitting a gate, the examiner asked me to stop the vehicle, park the truck, and meet him inside. No indication of a pass or fail. I waited and waited about 30 minutes on pins and needles. I felt confident that I passed the driving portion because the pre-trip went well, and the backing maneuvers were flawless as I earned no points. When the examiner came back with that sealed envelope with my test results, I nearly tackled him as I rushed to receive my reward and embraced him. I hugged errybody in the room!!! I squealed with delight as the fruits of my labor and sacrifice were finally completed.

I'm very much so on my way to being a pretty trucker, and all the praise goes to God. I prayed so much in the past 24 hours, and I kept encountering scriptures that would speak to my situation despite the worry. Today, I visited a site and found that Mark 11:24 says, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours (http://www.christnotes.org/dbv.php?d=2009-03-23)". Oddly, I prayed and request prayer that I wouldn't have to perform parallel parking because it proved difficult for me as I was often hit or miss on completing the maneuver. However, I also prayed that if I received parallel, then I knew God would guide me through it because He already helped he obtain the knowledge and skills set; I would just have to apply what I know. I prayed from Him to be with me again when I had to perform the task, and I pretty much KILLED it. It was perfectly in the box, and I knew I had passed the maneuvers...with no points!!!




I don't have any jobs lined up yet because things will take time and have some other things I have to accomplish first. However, I hope to be working in the field quite soon. I will stay with God on this part of plan as He has already proven He is the one to be with on this thing called Life. I'm so blessed today, and I hope this has blessed someone, anyone who wants to be a trucker or anything else they dream to be. It's never too late, and it's never too much if you go with God. He never left me and was just waiting for me to come to Him. Look what happened when I did. I will be a pretty trucker in the very near future. God is sooo cool. :)

NOTE: I found this awesome graphic at http://www.girlscantwhat.com/2008/03/05/meet-trucker-pamela-febbo/. Found it today, and LOVE IT!

WOOOOOOSAHHHHHH!!! I'll be a pretty trucker yet

My original intentions were to blog every single week about my experience in the Commercial Truck Driving course at Dekalb Tech. Wouldn't it be great to know what the school entails, how great (or possibly not so great) the different instructors are, etc.??? Yes, that was a great idea, but I'm so busy with a 40 hour job and 30 hours of school.... That idea died.

But this Monday will mark the beginning of week 9, and I couldn't be happier!!! "Thrilled" would not fully express how excited I eel about the progress I made yesterday. The backing maneuvers that have been stressing and taunting me are finally becoming fun now that I can complete the maneuvers. My spirit was as bright and glowy as the sky was on yesterday's spring like afternoon. Granted, the sweat rolled down my forehead and back from working so hard on a warm day with no A/C. (Most trucks have A/C, but I was so focused since 9 AM that I forgot to turn it on later.) My body feels different levels of soreness I haven't felt before. But I'm much closer to becoming a driver after all.

Driving the truck is a thrill of its own. I love being a cute girly girl operating that big vehicle with little or no trouble. Being behind the wheel sitting in "the hot seat" with my instructor makes my happiness bubble over. I'm all smiles when I'm driving (unless it's a Mack truck). Basically, my spirit is overjoyed to be doing what I've always wanted to do.

The only thing that could make me happier will be earning the actual CDL. Pray for me, people.

Such a truckin' lady

Excitement sounds like a pretty good word to describe how I feel about the end of the third week of the rest of my life. I should throw in anxious, eager, sore, surprised, (damn near) discombobulated, and spent. That's where some of my classmates are as we're currently learning our backing techniques. Offset backing is a bitch, and I bet her sisters, parallel parking and alley backing won't be nice either.

But taking my life in a brand new direction with my Commercial Truck Driving course far outweighs these initial frustrations. This change is HURGE (yes, big enough for an extra letter) when you consider I'm trying to stay sane while balancing my full-time job and marriage while worried about trying to get healthy. Unfortunately, I have to sacrifice my previous weight loss efforts to balance 40 hours of work, 30 hours of school, and fitting in 5 - 6 hours of sleep. Most days, I honestly don't know if I'm coming or going, but that's the sacrifice I'll make for my sanity in the long run.

Today has a bittersweet element to it. My brother would have been 38. I can't help wondering if he would look at me with surprise, admiration, or confidence at my attempt to seriously pursue the career I've dreamt of since I was 18. Of course he would have some jokes because that's just who he was, and everyone would laugh. Who would have thought his zealous little sister that drove our mom's blue Dodge Dynasty like "Dukes of Dynasty" would want to drive for her career? I don't think he'd believe this same sister that wrecked cars as a hobby and collected speeding tickets like a baseball cards would want to be a professional operator. He'd be cracked up at that career move, but I like to think he'd be impressed that I was choosing a career path outside the box for most women.

My brother made his own interesting choices in his short time here, and I am still making interesting choices in my 31st year. Actually, getting engaged after 3 months of dating, marrying after 6 months of knowing the man, and deciding to pursue a career that takes a woman out of her house and away from her loving husband of one year might be way more than just "interesting". Oftentimes, I can't help noticing he had a family, a home, loads of friends, extreme confidence, and great finances before he was taken too early at 27. I'm still not there at 31, but I'm hoping I can make myself and my family proud in the next weeks and months.

Old school shout out to my brother Eddie Cooler. We'll never forget you EVER. Whenever I hear this song, it makes me think of how cool he always was.

MC Shy D ~ "I've Gotta Be Tough"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY2oHSIBhqQ

To leave or not to leave...that is SOOO the question.

A former colleague once told me I shouldn't put so much reality into my blog. Well, I guess if my entries deal with co-workers, then her advice makes sense. Otherwise, what I type must reflect me and the things in life that are affecting me.

Like the 7.2% unemployment rate and how it's affecting my rationale in the midst of my euphoria before I start my 10-week Commercial Truck Driving course.

Lord knows I have prayed before walking into a job in the past, and I still find myself doing that in my current position at the company I label as "a terrible place in [a suburban area north of Atlanta]". Prayers will definitely cross my lips on Monday when I walk into work after a nice weeklong vacation. More like drag myself through those transparent doors and fighting back tears when I press the up button for the elevator.

More than anything, I want to walk away from that job without a second thought. Just leave behind the insanity disguised as commerce. Well, not all is terrible at my job because I sincerely dig my manager. If it wasn't for her, I would not have taken off the very first week of the year, but she understood why I had to. But even with her being supportive and understanding, I really, really want to leave that place behind. The idea of quietly resigning fascinates me even more as my future in truck driving is only 10 weeks away from being my reality. If the image of me drooling like Homer Simpson at the idea of resigning comes to mind, you're not too far off.

Yes, I want to walk out on faith that God will be with me as I study to drive trucks professionally as a full-time student. But reality smacks me in the face when I watch CNN or read articles like the one above or this one about job security. God may want us to walk out on faith in some situations, but I'm sure He doesn't want any of His children to be foolish in this economy. As much as I despise and abhor my job, there are literally thousands (if not millions) of people that would love to sit in my (rather spacious) cubicle, answer the litany of calls and emails from not so bright customers, and earn my rather decent paycheck and benefits. As much as I can't wait to get away from that place, I have to wait and personify the virtue of patience. I must.

After all, the economy has affected so many industries and downsized thousands of employees. Trucking was also affected. So, it would honestly be a decision of tomfoolery to leave now. But I will continue to fantasize about it as I play Megamillions... and endure the next ten weeks of an intense schedule.

Pray for me, people.

2009 is gonna be sooo divine

will be my year. After all, I made it through 8 years of Bush. If I can survive that with God's blessings, I can survive anything after that. The same is true for any and everybody else. Tears damn near came when I realized the year of Obama had arrived after all the time under Bush.

But so much more is yet to come for me. After all, I ended 2008 by earning my CDL Class A Permit. Truck driving school will start on January 12, and I'll be striving full-steam ahead towards my future and my goals. The road ahead is guaranteed to be interesting with a full-time job and nearly full-time school, but anything worth having will be very much worth this sacrifice. Anticipation is high for the weeks ahead.

In the meantime, I've figured out just some of the things that will rest next to the 2008 stop sign as I keep on truckin' in 2009. Thanks to my homie, "Chyna", for the inspiration.

• Procrastinating in developing my relationship with God. My delay has more to deal with the fact that we're always told that God is always there with you. Always. Even if you turn away from Him, He's always there for you whenever you turn back to Him. In theory, you can just hang out in the devil's playground until I start collecting on my 401K. Trifling but honest. I know my relationship with Him can be so much more, especially since He's been so good to me in 2008, so I'm gonna stop putting off my efforts.
  

• Trifling neighbors with no concept of time or courtesy. Hubby and I love the downstairs unit we're renting in a duplex, but it happens to come with ignant PhD. candidates not from the US who just turned off their music at 3:55 AM. I don't know if the cops ever came or not, but they're more ignant than any of the neighbors I had in those shoddy townhouse units my brother, NOPI, and I rented in East Point. Translation: These European kids are more ignant than my ghetto-fabulous black neighbors.

• Weight gain. I'm trying to lose right now, but there will be no additional gain.

• Tolerating the friends/family that do not have any concern for me

• Dispair over the people in my life that don't get me. There's great people that get me for real.

• Self-pity and self-doubt
  

• Being stressed by my job...that doesn't get stressed by me

• Hubby's hangups that have nothing to do with me. I will not keep banging my head into the wall when I've pointed out the obvious that should dismiss his hangups.

• Any of my residual hangups that have yet to be determined

• One of my credit cards!!!
  

Fa La La La La My Ass

This past weekend, I attended the beautiful, love-filled wedding of one of my favorite sorors who helped me on my journey towards the Sigma Light. She really is a special 6'1" Amazon Sista, and I'm so happy she found genuine love with her gentle yet hilarious chocolate giant. For her gifts (because I missed the bridal shower and just brought her gift to the reception), I took a little piece of myself and put it into each part of the gifts. She has one of those cool books where the man and woman tear out a mystery page with instructions for a sexy/romantic encounter. She'll love it. Plus, I got an appliance off her registry that I know I'd enjoy, too. I wrapped it in beautiful baby blue and chocolate paper, but I took it to another level when I learned how to tie a ribbon into a nice box for her gifts. It's pretty good for a first try, especially when I wanted her to detect the personalized effort I put into the gifts. Seriously, how many people really receive gifts with bows tied by hand? How many gift bags do you have in your gift closet??? I was so excited that I took pics. This new talent might not lead to a gig wrapping gifts at Macy's during the Christmas season, but it sincerely felt good to do something special for someone else that I think of as special.


I must be more in a gift mood considering that Halloween is long gone, (damn I miss it). Thanksgiving is approaching, and laughter and good food with the family is being anticipated. So, here comes Christmas. On the real, the commercialization of the holiday has gotten on my last good nerves, so I cringe and make faces when I see all of the decorations, gift wrap, and God awful reindeer and sleigh earrings. I still appreciate the reason for Christmas, so I'll always celebrate the birth of Christ, but everything else surrounding Christmas on a retail level has just disturbed me.

But in the good ol' gift giving spirit (and therefore giving of myself which I can enjoy year round), I've decided to participate in a family gift exchange. This part of the family is kind of large and fruitful, so shopping for all of the adults, the kids who have grown up (my group), the kids who are still under 18, and the new kids of the grown kids gets expensive. That's why the adults and grown kids can choose to participate in the gift exchange. One of my aunts used to facilitate the whole gift exchange. She facilitates a lot of stuff, so I think she's completely over this gift exchange. Somewhere between last year and this year, she passed the task on to someone else. How gracious, right?

Well, I sent our newest facilitator an email reply from moi to report the requested gift items for $50 or less from my city's relatives. I communicated the requests, and I played facilitator in our city by telling the people who they're playing Santa for and providing the wish lists. But being the daughter I am, I came up with a novel idea for my mom: whoever has my mom's name can tell me what they didn't buy for her, and I can pick from those items so she can get TWO desired items. Nifty. I communicate this to our facilitator and just wait to hear back from Mama's Secret Santa.

I bet the facilitator is dealing with a bunch of stuff dealing with us, so there's no pressure. I appreciate that someone else stepped in. Honestly, I would've done it if I were asked, so I don't want to give much grief to the person who's doing it. But I get this email: "I just let the perfume off for your mom."

WTH??? I jumped to a conclusion, waited a minute to let it sink in, then stuck by the same conclusion: that's some straight BS. If I didn't know any better, I'd definitely say this person is manipulating the exchange instead of just facilitating. It's not like said person said something cool like, "I got your mom items A and B because I'm just ballin' like that, so the only thing left is the perfume." Naw... This one pretty much looked at the list and said, "Her daughter should buy her the perfume because it's the most expensive item." (It might not be if you look at the right websites.) Again, straight BS because if I wanted that to be done...., me and my bold self would've left the item off the list in the first place and bought it for her. But in the spirit of giving, I wanted to give the other party the chance to buy one of three nice items for my mom, and then I choose from the remaining items that weren't the giftgivers' first choice. That's my rationale because I love to give gifts that I would appreciate, so it's like giving a piece of myself, and maybe Mama's Santa wants to do the same thing. That's just the kind of woman I am. Besides the pissed off kind that dislikes obvious manipulation and BS.

The one good thing to come out of this moment is that I've learned that I'm not the only habitual line stepper (RIP "Slick" Rick James) out of my cousins. *sigh*

We paid attention in Language Arts. You can, too.

I've been overwhelmed with different emotions over the past 13 days since America did the right thing and elected Barack Obama as the 44th President. There are still a few sparks of excitement and anticipation left over from the initial grandiose explosions of fireworks when I saw the election results. A Black President of the US seemed surreal, but it has become more and more real since I've heard Ru.sh Limbaug.h and S.ean Hann.ity on the radio ranting and damn near exploding like a shed filled with explosives lit from a long trail of gunpowder by a mischievous cartoon character. Despite two people's broadcasted rants that represent the various stages of outrage from 48% of the nation's registered voters, the other 52% of voting Americans are still reveling at the impending change that we anticipate.

It also helps that our President-Elect is so crushworthy.

But the other night, I learned that we still have so far to go despite our voting. When I speak of we, I'm referring to my Black brothers and sisters.

I was visiting my family and got to play with my seven-month old niece, "DaBy". We have a nice bond already. It's just natural. Maybe she detects that I was just a light-complected as she was when I was a baby. Honestly, it's hilarious to me that my brother always picked at me for being the lightest, and now his daughter is even lighter than I am.

I love that little girl, but she can be quite a handful, especially when she's unhappy. Sometime during the evening, DaBy was completely irritated and was letting us know it while she wailed right in front of me. She literally was crying and fussing for no reason. At all. I know this because after about 8 seconds of trying the "What's wrong?" game with her, I decided to share some pictures of her cousins that were on the table.

"Look, DaBy!" I shouted in the excited tone reserved for little kids and PBS afternoon stars. "It's your cousin, Mimi! Isn't she pretty?! Ooh, and there's Lee! Isn't that such a pretty picture?! You'll grow hair like hers one day! Ooh! There's Mimi again! She's playing volleyball! You can play volleyball one day, too!!! YES! You can play whatever you want, and I'll bet you'll want to hit stuff!"

DaBy actually stopped crying and was looking at each of the pictures. She didn't even sniffle. Just looked at the pictures. Then, she turned and looked at me and started her baby talk. She really loves talking, so I do my little part to return the chatter back to her.

From out of nowhere, DaBy's other aunt (DaBy's mom's sister) has to say, "Ooh, look who sounds white."

I don't even really know this woman, but that pissed me off. Being who I am, I immediately told her to kiss my white ass. Maybe that convinced her I'm not so white. But how effed up is it that America and the entire world just celebrated the election of an intelligent, well-spoken, obviously educated, charismatic (and attractive) black man as the leader of the world's most powerful country, yet that nonsense notion of being a smart black person means trying to be white still exists? Everyone's victory in his successful campaign should actually illustrate more than ever how important and invaluable an education is. Parents of school children everywhere should point to our President Elect as an example as why young students have to pay attention in school and learn something; their child could be taking the Oath of Office one day. But that damn crabs-in-a-barrel mentality won't go away.

Honestly, the notion that such an effed up belief system that has held black people back for so long would instantaneously evaporate with an historic election is kind of silly. But with such an idealistic approach to life these days, that "woman's" words were almost a slap in the face of Obama's work and his supporters' colorblind beliefs. I still have hope for the rest of us and even DaBy waking her other aunt up to reality. Speaking clearly and understandable is not just a trait of white people. It's just a trait of a well-spoken, educated person. Period.

So many thoughts in my head yet so little time before I have to report back to the salt mines better known as my job. Wide awake for some good reasons since I'm contemplating all of my next moves.

At least I have the CDL General Knowledge test under my belt. I'm studying up for the Air Brakes and Combinations portions that I plan to take later this month. The beauty is that I'm one step closer to my goal. I'm officially on the path to the next phase of my life, and that thrills me so much. The next phase can't start fast enough, but everything is still happening one step at a time. *sigh* But if I could drive someone's truck tomorrow, I would.

Since I can't, I'm living vicariously through a new friend of a friend. I met her when she was still in CDL school at Dekalb Tech. Now, she's officially earned her Class A CDL and will be starting orientation with a trucking company soon. She doesn't officially know it, but she's already become a sort of mentor for me. We both already know we'll be two of the prettiest truckers on the road. That doesn't mean trucking in stilettos and fitted Baby Phat jeans. Just maintaining the pretty....

In the meantime, I'm praying that I can make it through my current position. I only need it while I'm in school, and I'm outta there as soon as I get the right trucking position. But for now, I'm appreciating the fact that I'm employed while others are unemployed in this atrocious economy and job market. A job that drives me crazy with changes and interesting executive decision making is better than no job at all, especially since I know at least four people currently out of work, and one hasn't worked in 3 months. I'm bitter about my job but sincerely appreciative to be employed. Quite the conundrum that anyone can clearly understand in 2008.

"I Just Want it To Be Over" was an instrumental part of my personal soundtrack when I was teaching but finally realized I want to drive trucks. Yet, I have an interesting motor vehicle record. It's cleaned up now with ZERO points, but I'm obviously in yet another phase where this last phase can't be over fast enough.


Keyshia Cole - (I just want it) to be over
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwPS2FT0HUE

I've been feenin' for this for years!!!

This "Passin' Me By" remix was one of the songs that showed me there was more to hip hop than just what was on V-103 on Friday night's Fresh Party. It's hard to conceive that there was no hip hop on Atlanta airwaves 24 hours a day when you consider that Atlanta is now a hub for hip hop and the music industry in general.

The original "Passin Me By" and this divine remix provided some of the auditory Heaven on Earth experiences I had on Sunday nights from 10 PM to 2 AM during my high school years. WRAS 88.5 FM played underground hip hop and all the goodies from '91 - '95 (a great time for hip hop). That's where I discovered Nas and "Illmatic", The Lords of the Underground, Common Sense (the deliciously gifted artist and actor we know as Common), Black Moon, Apache, The Pharcyde, and so many others. This is where I experienced the "jazzier" side of hip hop and anything other than booty shaking and coochie popping.

* For my FaceBook friends, go to my profile to hear the posted music or return to my blog: http://sunshynelyfe.blogspot.com.

Thank YOU, Senator McCain!!!

I never thought I'd appreciate anything Senator John McCain did, especially after hearing the story of how he created a huge calamity at sea when he was in the service. That calamity cost hundreds of lives according to my source. Guess I should look that up....

BUT THIS WAS WAY MORE IMPORTANT!!! Last night, I had to go to sleep on the Presidential debates because a lady has to wake up and go to work. I was listening to Q100 in Atlanta, and I heard that Sen. McCain refused to shake Senator Barack Obama's hand. I was thinking, "There must be a misunderstanding. No one would be silly enough to act like that in front of several dozen people including Tom Brokaw and definitely not while the cameras are rolling." I searched through a few Presidential debate videos on YouTube. Then, I figured I should search for "McCain refuses" and sort by date added... VOILA!

I watched the short clip below twice and had to see that this experienced Senator who knows everything about how to save our country doesn't know the first thing about common courtesy. How do you consider yourself to be a presidential candidate but refuse to do something as simple as shake your well-spoken opponent's hand? How can I trust you to handle the complicated tasks of a presidency when you cannot shake the hand of the man that obviously has an edge on you after the debate? How can Sen. McCain really be trusted to be the face of America when meeting with international officials and diplomats? What I can trust is if someone shines more than McCain in anyway, then McCain will nearly act like a eight year old Little Leaguer who lost a game. Granted, McCain didn't physically move away from Obama's outstretched right hand, but McCain's refusal to return the silent gesture speaks volumes about his character.

In short, THANK YOU, Senator McCain! There were some undecided voters watching, and I'm confident that those few seconds of your life swayed some undecided voters to be sure to cast their votes for Senator Obama. Not to mention your lackluster decision of Governor Palin as your vice-presidential running mate. I can't thank you enough for your decision making skills.




John McCain Refuses to shake hands with Barack Obama - 2nd Presidential Debate*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN_wsMA_LJA

* For my FaceBook friends, go to my profile to view the posted video or return to my blog: http://sunshynelyfe.blogspot.com.

the "are you kidding me?" lesson

I saw my younger brother NOPI get married on Friday, and that was pretty extraordinary considering he and the bride almost missed the ceremony. Their little family was well-dressed and commented on highly for how attractive they were. I'm still fascinated that my younger brother who has always vowed to never grow up is a father and now a husband.

With such a monumental event in the fabric of life, I should've known something would unravel a bit. Saturday morning is going pretty well. Just another early morning rise where I'm happy to not report to work because I'm straight chillin' in my cozy good with my hubby. The Good Life indeed. Then, my cell rings.
The caller ID only shows "private no." which probably only means one thing: don't answer. Only one person's number would show as private, but my devil's advocate kicks in. Why would Christopher Columbus call me after the last conversation we had where I cruelly but honestly advised that any other pursuits of me were a waste of his time and energy because he and I would never go any damn where? I even hung up on him four times to drive the point home. So no self-respecting man would chase a bitch like that again. Never. It'll be nothing to this phone call.

I answer in my cold business demeanor, "This is sunshyne."

Mystery voice says, "Heyyy!" It's a deep voice that sounds pretty sexy. Damn if it ain't Christopher Columbus! I grow colder trying to confirm the suspicion. Then, I figure I should throw suspicions out the window when dude has not identified himself after 10 seconds. I hate the "I just wanna hear your voice game".

Click. And it's over. Damn, forgot to tell him I'm married. Then again, Christopher Columbus called earlier in the week, and I know he heard my new last name on my voice mail.

The irony that is my life. I knew a former flame (or idiot) would be calling because I had a dream that I spoke with an old flame on the phone in my dream the night before. It was a different guy that I would've enjoyed talking to just so he can be reminded again that he wouldn't have to call me to hear my voice if he would've done right by me. Between the dream and the actual phone call, I remember all the bullshit I went through before meeting my wonderful husband with his perfect imperfections.

I put my phone down, walked over to hubby, and gave him kisses and hugs to show him again how much I appreciate him and the best decision I've made to date.

Blogger's Block has struck...somewhat

I finally found a nice groove in my writings and such. Then, my job gets wacky...to put it mildly. So, what's a woman with aspirations to do? Get on top of making those aspirations happening.

For the past two weeks, I've been studying in the Georgia CDL manual to get ready to take the General Knowledge test. I've been highlighting in five different colors, writing little side notes that help me, and taking a practice tests online at CristCDL.com. Challenging is not the word for it considering that my memory is shaky. However, would it really be worth it if there weren't some type of challenge involved? If I could just memorize the answers to a test, sure that would get me closer to the goal of being behind the wheel of a eighteen-wheeler all over the Southeast. But would I be one of those ill-prepared drivers that causes tractor trailer wrecks that tie-up interstates and pisses off soccer moms and commuting corporate cogs trying to arrive on time to their spot in the machine?

Naw. I'll just study and therefore limit my blogging time. It makes me sad to limit my blogs, but I have a dream to achieve. Thanks to my friends who have been impressed and so encouraging when learning that I'm working hard to make things happen.

PS GOOOOOO DAWGS!!! That was a tough game against those nasty Gamecocks, but a victory is a victory. 3-0! Woof woof woof!

Another Soul Train mystery solved!

Everyone should have memories of watching Soul Train at some point during their childhood. You loved different dancers like "The Asian Lady" featuring Her Hair. The Costume Guy might have freaked you out with some of his combinations, but he stayed on the main stage with "Ski" that was always walking around the stage in his shades or just posing in his suits, pretty hair, and light skin. I finally figured out that "Ski" needed attention. A LOT of attention.

Being the Greek Life lover that I am, I always wondered if there were any Black Greeks who ever showed up on the hippest trip in America and represented on syndicated television. I wouldn't expect stepping and strolling on Soul Train because that would just be ridiculous. Just wearing some 'nalia or throwing up a sign.

I learned the truth this past weekend. There WAS a Black Greek reppin' on Soul Train! Some of you might remember the chocolate-complected dude with the short jheri curl; he was known for wearing some fringed outfits. Maybe he was a clothing designer seeking his destiny just like a bunch of the dancers were seeking their fame in singing or acting. (NOTE: There were success stories like Rosie Perez whose rear you'll see for the first 1.5 seconds of the second video, Jody Watley, Jermaine Stewart, and more that are probably ahead of my time.)

Shock does not adequately describe what I found on either of these short videos. Seeing some of the fashions on Soul Train in the '70s and '80s is a stone gas, honey. Reppin' your organzation... priceless.

It's 1908 in Ponce de Leon, FL....

Principal's outing of gay student roils Fla. town

updated 5:57 a.m. PT, Thurs., Aug. 21, 2008

PONCE DE LEON, Fla. - When a high school senior told her principal that students were taunting her for being a lesbian, he told her homosexuality is wrong, outed her to her parents and ordered her to stay away from children.

He suspended some of her friends who expressed their outrage by wearing gay pride T-shirts and buttons at Ponce de Leon High School, according to court records. And he asked dozens of students whether they were gay or associated with gay students.

The American Civil Liberties Union successfully sued the district on behalf of a girl who protested against Principal David Davis, and a federal judge reprimanded Davis for conducting a "witch hunt" against gays. Davis was demoted, and school employees must now go through sensitivity training.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26316235/

My real friends that really know me would know that this pisses me off. I've always been straight, but I'm also a supporter of my gay friends. If one of my dear cousins would have come out to me before he died, I would have embraced him exactly as he was, even if I would've been the only family member to support him. Honestly, one of the things I regret not doing in college is joining a campus group called "Straight but not Narrow", but I didn't know how supportive I was of my gay friends at that time. Honestly, I wholeheartedly believe that gay people are born that way. If I encounter a person that has a different opinion of homosexuality, we can express our opposing POVs, agree to disagree, and move on with our lives. It's not like the outcome of our discussion will instantly change the sexual orientation of all gay and bi-sexual people at that moment - that if that's what they wanted anyway.

So, in 2008, someone being gay should no longer be such a big deal considering that gay marriage is legal in two states. Hell, it even impresses me how much some Americans love El.len DeGen.eres regardless of the fact that she's an out lesbian. Even when I taught 9th grade a few years ago, I was impressed that most of the kids who knew they had gay classmates did not seem to be affected by the sight of rainbow colored jewelry. These kids were not perfect, but they represented the idea of judging based on character pretty well.

But the above article reeks of a backwoods town that thinks it's 1908 instead of 2008 and probably has no interest in progressing with the rest of America. It's as if the young student watched encouraging and insightful daytime talkshows like "The Ty.ra B.anks Show" and listened to the lessons on compassion, acceptance, and diversity. This generation of kids are taught that bullying is punishable and should not be tolerated. Instead of internalizing the issues and just accepting the taunts as a regular part of childhood, these young people are supposed to find a trusted adult (teacher, counselor, or administrator) in their lives to help them. This poor student really trusted their principal to help them out because that is what s/he has learned is the right thing to do.

Instead, this trusting child has to be bullied and subjected to tomfoolery perpetuated by an adult that has Masters and/or Doctoral degrees that probably includes "Leadership". Maybe "Decision Making" classes and assessments should become a part of becoming an administrator. The saddest part is that the former principal probably thought he was really doing a good thing in the interest of the children and the community.

This is just some hot mess in 2008. So the moral of the story is we can possibly elect America's first black president in 2008, but we cannot accept the idea of young people who know that they are gay. *sighhhhhhhh*

1-2-3-4-FIVE-6-7-8-9-10-11-twel-el-el-el-el-el-ELVE!

Do you ever sit at your job wondering what the hell did you do wrong to be in the position that you're in? You want to prepare youreself to do better and start planning in your head or on a hot pink Pos.t-it the steps to take to get to your dream career. Then, you realize it's not as simple as fining a new job tomorrow but more like earning another degree or getting professional training for what you want. Your heart drops a bit.

Then, you go to your "Happy Place" and something from childhood brings a smile back to your face. For me, one of the happiest places is the 60 seconds of counting from one to twelve with the pinball machine on Sesame Street.

When I was a kid, I just knew I could teleport myself into that loopy well lit pinball machine world and just stand around. Then, when the ball wouldn't be on the ramps, I could ride my bike and pop wheelies all over the ramps. I might even sneak in some time to check out the special bonus area associated with each number. Yessssss.... I'd even end the night in that funky nightlife with the duckies and buildings at the end of the segment.

Please allow me to take us all back to the best pinball machine EVER.



Pinball Number Count 7: World Tour
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh4_ybNgEJg

Geor-gia!!! Bull-dawgs!!! better than South Carolina anyday

Exciting but nervewrecking. That's how you can chalk up my reaction to my Georgia Bulldawgs Preason #1 ranking in the Associated Press poll. I'm sure plenty of people didn't think this was coming, but it did. YESSSSSS!!!

But it's still nervewrecking because everyone that starts out #1 doesn't always end the season at #1 according to a recent blog in the AJC. Just ask the University of Southern California Trojans who started out #1 last year but finished the season at #3 (behind UGA). Only time will tell if my team can pull it out. Regardless of the outcome, I'll nation does as well.

The memory of UGA ending up head of USC in the end makes me laugh - even more than Michigan's loss to Division II Appalachian State (BWAHAHAHAHA!) - only because I have a colleague that played for them back in the day, and he razzes me every week. He's a truly devoted alum that always recognizes the true nature of his team's legacy (payola anyone?), and I respect him for that. In return, he knows UGA only has two national football titles (1942 and 1980), but we've always had talent in a rigorous conference. Who can't respect fans like the Bulldawg Nation?

But a comment in the AJC blog about a fellow SEC team was pure hilarity! SEC fans are absolutely loyal, but you gotta give South Carolina Gamecock fans credit for their ridiculous, almost illogical devotion to their team. One commenter on a recent AJC.com blog cracked me up with their breakdown of the losing tradition that encompasses Gamecock Gobbledygook. Some might find the comment disrespectful, but what's so disrespectful about hardcore football statistics documented in the annals of NCAA history? I'll keep laughing...just as long as my Dawgs handle business in Columbia on September 13. We haven't forgotten.

Oh yeah. Back to the laughs.

http://www.ajc.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/ajc/uga/entries/2008/08/18/consensus_no_1.html#comment-114014403